I'm sorry
by RawrMichi
Summary: A tragic and angsty story for the spooky season! Contains slight BL, I think? Featuring my OTP, ShinAu.


Lately, living in the Minerva hadn't been so bad anymore.

The prison cell was still uncomfortable, and very boring indeed, but not completely unbearable.

Shinn would come and visit every day; lately their friendship had grown very strong. It's as both of them wished time could freeze in this very moment, so it could last forever.

However, both knew that fate was around the corner, Auel even more so than Shinn, but he wouldn't say a thing. A thin, reassuring smile always remained on his face.

Laughing quietly and picking on each other, the hours would pass by surprisingly fast.

Even if Shinn had been busy all day, he would always come around, even past midnight.

The bright look on his eyes and that smile; were something Auel looked forward to, every day.

But lately, lately Auel had begun to feel sick.

Health deteriorating. Something the Minerva's medical crew couldn't fix.

Even if his meal was delivered regularly, he could not stand to take a bite.

Shinn had noticed this, and thorough the whole week he helplessly tried to find a solution.

No matter how much he tried, without listening to Auel, he couldn't make things better.

Sleepless nights.

Why did this happen again?

Why was fate so cruel on him?

Shinn had again to witness the life of his friend slip away from his grasp.

"The only solution is… back at home." Auel would always say, but Shinn didn't want to listen.

Dark purple, sickly looking bags under his eyes. A tired gaze. Auel had begun to gradually lose weight.

So that is it… The only answer?

Returning him… Letting him go back home.

No matter what the choice was, he'd still end up losing him either way.

It hurt him, it hurt him so bad and Shinn would find himself helplessly breaking into tears every time he saw him.

"Don't cry." Auel would say, smiling… tired. Reaching out slowly from the other side of the bars; to wipe his tears away.

His friend was going to die. Either in here, or out there. The Alliance was going to eventually take his life away from him.

All efforts were helpless.

Shinn's heart ached.

October 31st of the Cosmic Era, Shinn quietly approached the prisoner quarters of the Minerva.

Auel's eyes widened in disbelieving shock as he watched Shinn open the cell's lock.

Unable to move much, he remained sitting on the bed, resting all of his light weight against the wall. Teal eyes, bright with excitement, watched as Shinn walked in, approaching him as the coordinator's shadow covered his shape.

"Shinn…?" He smiled; this had been the first time they could be so close, without the cold bars separating them.

Taking a seat closely, Shinn was careful not to hurt his friend, leaning in and embracing him tightly and suddenly.

The extended hated sudden contact from strangers, but Shinn was one he wouldn't doubt. He made no complaints, and fully returned the embrace as much as he could, trusting Shinn fully.

Auel's pale, lifeless hands slowly and with a lot of effort, reached for the back of the boy; gripping onto the soft, crimson fabric of his uniform.

Gripping with all of his strength… Not wanting to let go.

His cheeks were dyed a gentle shade of red, Shinn was warm, he was close.

His embrace was something he never imagined. Longing this touch for so long. Auel hadn't been this happy in a while.

…Shinn was finally here.

It seemed ages as they remained like this, only hearing the soothing sound of each other's heartbeats. Some slower and weaker than others.

"Auel..." Shinn spoke finally, pulling away from the hug just enough to meet his eyes. The tone of his voice was calm, but the look on his face wasn't exactly relieved.

Was Shinn going to cry again?

"Nn…?" The extended's eyes opened slowly, looking back expectantly.

"I…" Shinn's vision had become blurry. Tears threatening to spill. "I can't take you back home…"

Auel was not startled by the coordinator's words. Tilting his head to the left, he blinked a few times.

"I understand, Shinn…" His weak smile would never fade; Auel was ready to face his fate. He had been ever since he could remember. "Shinn, it's okay, you idiot..." The coordinator's tears now gently tracing lines down his face, Auel reached and slowly wiped them the best he could with his thumb. "Don't cry, ne?"

Having spent so much time in here, in this place… Auel would have chosen to stay. No matter the circumstances. Shinn was dear to him, someone he could trust.

"I'm sorry…" Shinn's voice had begun to break as he tried to speak. Gently leaning forward, he touched the boy's forehead with his own. The colour of Shinn's eyes now reflecting on his, under this dim light; Auel's gaze was patient and tired, a mixture of teal and red.

"But I can't have you either, even if you remain here…" He continued, not ever looking away. "That's why… Never for.. get… O..kay…?"

Forget? What do you mean, Shinn? Shi…

…

Crimson red drops fall and stain the white mattress.

A cold feeling, even colder than the coldest nights in Lodonia, spread across his trembling body.

"Eh…?" Teal eyes wide open, Auel glances down.

Shinn holds him with his other arm to keep him from collapsing, just yet. He never looks away. Tears now spilling from his eyes, endlessly.

Auel's grip on his uniform loosens and eventually his hands fall, no strength left to hold on. Even with the last of his efforts, he doesn't pull away from the boy's embrace, the person he trusts the most…

Shinn's hand shakes as he sobs uncontrollably, cold knife poking deeper into the flesh.

I'm sorry there was no other way.

Their foreheads remain supporting each other's, and Auel looks up one last time, his eyelids feeling heavy. Pupils wide. His lips gently curve into a weak smile.

"Shi… n…" Life slowly slips away from him. It was fate.

Not sure if Auel can hear him anymore, Shinn struggles to finish his sentence in between agonizing sobs.

"I don't lo..ve you… But I alwa..ys will…"

If I can't have you, then nobody will.

I won't let you die out there.

Hang onto me, tightly, trust me.

…I'm sorry.


End file.
